Self-Assessment · Stress Rewired

Are You an Overgiver?

Most overgivers don't know they are overgivers. They know they are generous. They know they care. They know they give a lot — and that it doesn't always come back. But the word overgiver doesn't quite fit, because it implies something wrong with the giving, and there is nothing wrong with generosity.

This test is not here to label you. It is here to show you something more specific: whether your giving is coming from freedom or from fear. Whether it is costing you more than it should. And where in your life the pattern is strongest.

There are no right or wrong answers. Just honest ones.

Take 5 minutes. Answer from your gut, not from who you wish you were.

0 — Never 1 — Sometimes 2 — Often 3 — Almost always

Part One

Your Behaviour

What you actually do

Question 1

When someone asks for help, I say yes before I've had a chance to check whether I actually can or want to.

0 — Never

1 — Sometimes

2 — Often

3 — Almost always

Question 2

I give more than I originally planned to — more time, more energy, more effort — and I'm not always sure how it happened.

0 — Never

1 — Sometimes

2 — Often

3 — Almost always

Question 3

I find it harder to ask for help than to give it.

0 — Never

1 — Sometimes

2 — Often

3 — Almost always

Question 4

I apologise or over-explain when I need to say no or set a limit.

0 — Never

1 — Sometimes

2 — Often

3 — Almost always

Question 5

After giving a lot, I feel flat, empty, or quietly resentful — even when the person seemed grateful.

0 — Never

1 — Sometimes

2 — Often

3 — Almost always

Part Two

Your Body & Nervous System

What happens underneath

Question 6

When someone seems unhappy or disappointed, I feel a pull to fix it — even if it's not my problem to fix.

0 — Never

1 — Sometimes

2 — Often

3 — Almost always

Question 7

I read people's moods and adjust myself — softening, accommodating, making myself easier — before they've said anything.

0 — Never

1 — Sometimes

2 — Often

3 — Almost always

Question 8

Saying no, or even imagining saying no, creates a physical feeling of tension, anxiety, or dread.

0 — Never

1 — Sometimes

2 — Often

3 — Almost always

Question 9

Receiving — compliments, help, care, money, rest — feels uncomfortable. I deflect it or immediately give something back.

0 — Never

1 — Sometimes

2 — Often

3 — Almost always

Question 10

I find it hard to rest or do nothing without a background sense that I should be doing more.

0 — Never

1 — Sometimes

2 — Often

3 — Almost always

Part Three

Your Beliefs About Yourself

What you carry

Question 11

On some level, I feel I need to be useful, needed, or contributing in order to deserve my place in a relationship or situation.

0 — Never

1 — Sometimes

2 — Often

3 — Almost always

Question 12

My needs feel like too much — I'm more comfortable focusing on others' needs than acknowledging my own.

0 — Never

1 — Sometimes

2 — Often

3 — Almost always

Question 13

I worry that if I give less, people will leave, lose interest, or think less of me.

0 — Never

1 — Sometimes

2 — Often

3 — Almost always

Question 14

I find it easier to see my own worth when I have done something for someone, than simply for who I am.

0 — Never

1 — Sometimes

2 — Often

3 — Almost always

Question 15

There is a part of me that believes love, belonging, or acceptance has to be earned — and that giving is how I earn it.

0 — Never

1 — Sometimes

2 — Often

3 — Almost always

Are You an Overgiver?

Ready to go deeper?